Friday, August 8, 2008

THE BOX by Gayleen Gandy

The following essay is dedicated to my husband, Kim, known to hundreds of students by the simple teacher title, Mr. Gandy.

It came home every day, just like a child coming home from school.  Of course it never actually said anything but its presence on the kitchen table silently screamed, "I'm home!"

Every evening and all day on Saturday The Box stayed on the kitchen table, its presence a constant reminder of an overburdened profession.  When the table was needed for a meal, The Box would temporarily move to a nearby counter or to the floor but it was always close by.  Then, every morning it would depart with a flourish just as the children, whose work it contained, left their homes for another day at school.

The Box was an unremarkable cardboard container about 18 inches long, 12 inches wide, and 5 inches tall.  It had probably once been used to package some type of classroom supplies.  I came to know it as the teacher's homework tote.  It was nearly always overflowing with paper: paper covered with math problems, handwritten stories, worksheets with blanks filled in (or not), spelling tests and, always on top, the blue teacher's grade book.

The Box contained the extended, after-hours work necessary to provide students, parents, and of course the teacher, with the precious feedback on the effectiveness of the day's efforts.  After spending his day with the creators of The Box's contents, our kitchen table became the teacher's evaluation site.  While his children played, did homework, and especially while they slept, their dad spent quality time with The Box, preparing its contents to return to school the next morning.

Eventually we succeeded in banishing The Box from our kitchen table on weeknights, even though it usually returned to take its place on Saturdays.  In exchange however, it's owner spent less time at the kitchen table himself.  The Box still had its demands and, when it stayed at school, the teacher stayed longer also, seldom leaving his desk until at least two hours after his students had vacated theirs.

The presence of The Box became a fact of family life, symbolizing the imbalance in the ratio of time to task.  It was the source of subtle stress, a constant reminder of work never completely finished and rarely caught up.  Like clothes in a laundry hamper or dishes in the sink, the contents of The Box replenished themselves faster then they could be graded and returned.

The Box no longer occupies a place at our kitchen table or in our family life.  While we miss the presence of its owner every day, we do not miss The Box.  However, we will always be grateful for all those who are willing to live with the companionship of their own teacher's tote, whatever their version of The Box may be.

Friday, May 2, 2008

In March of 2007, Kim was diagnosed with biliary or gall bladder cancer.  All the information we could find on that type of cancer indicated that survival rates were close to non-existent and that we would be fortunate if he survived even one year.  As we came to accept the inevitable result of his diagnosis, Kim began talking about the future for our family after his passing.  

One day he made a very specific request.  He had always wanted to provide opportunities for our children to travel.  Specifically, he wanted to take them to Hawaii where he had spent several months after graduating from high school.  He told me that he would really like to have me use the money that would come to us from the Granite Employees Welfare Association to take the family to Hawaii.  Of course he didn't know if the final amount would be sufficient to cover the costs of that trip but, if at all possible, that was how he would like that money to be used.

Kim passed away on July 15, 2007.  Several months later, I began considering how and when to take the promised trip to Hawaii.  After the difficult task of finding a week when all the children could go, we made plans to spend April 22 thru April 28 in Hawaii.  

We spent the entire time on the island of Oahu, staying in a rented beach house on the North Shore. Several of the pictures from our vacation are below.  I hope that it will be obvious by looking at them that we had a WONDERFUL time!!!  

To Kim, who we are sure accompanied us in spirit, Mahalo.  We felt like we were truly in paradise, not only because of our surroundings but because we were able to enjoy the time together so completely.